Whitebeard
by ntamara
Summary: Albus has had lovers in the past, but nobody knows where they’ve disappeared to. Severus finds out.
1. Author Notes, Disclaimer and Warnings

Title: Whitebeard

Author: ntamara

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: AD/SS, SS/LV implied

Genre: Humour/Parody/Horror

Summary: Albus has had lovers in the past, but nobody knows where they've disappeared to. Severus finds out.

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, hardly anything of this is mine. They all belong to JKR, Warner Bros and probably lots of other people who all aren't me. Oh, and I'm not making any money out of this either. Unfortunately.

Archive: adxss, ISF, ff.net, my livejournal and website

Feedback: Praise and flames can be sent to naomitamara@yahoo.com or leave a comment on my lj (www.livejournal.com/users/ntamara). Feel free to praise me, feel free to flame me. I'm quite proud of this story (no, make that very proud *g*), and I'd love to hear what you think of it, good or bad.

This story was written for the Albus Dumbledore/Severus Snape Buggering Bee, part of the Snapledore Carnal Carnival, at snapledore.slashcity.net/bee

A/N: Thanks go out to the wonderful Delphi and Diagonalist, who both helped me fix this up into something readable.


	2. Whitebeard

There once was a great wizard who had fine houses, both in Hogsmeade and in Diagon Alley, a great number of powerful magical artefacts, ancient and rare tomes, and a phoenix that was red and gold. But this wizard unfortunately also had a long and white beard, which made him look so frightfully old that all the young wizards and witches looked upon him as a grandfather rather than a lover.

He was Headmaster of Hogwarts, and had defeated the Dark Wizard Grindelwald many years ago. He desired to persuade one of the nearly graduating Slytherins to become his lover. There were two Slytherins in particular he had his eye on: two powerful young wizards, pure of blood; one with hair so blond it was like spun gold, the other with raven-coloured hair and a patrician's nose. They would neither of them have him, however, and sent him backward and forward from one to the other, not being able to bear the thought of becoming the lover of such an old wizard who had such a long, white beard, and was a Gryffindor to boot. What made them distrustful aside from that, was the fact that he had had young wizards from Slytherin as lovers before, and nobody ever knew what became of them.

Whitebeard, to engage their affections, took them, and a number of other seventh year students, on an excursion into the Forbidden Forest. They were accompanied by the friendly and trustworthy half-giant groundskeeper, and kept safe from the more dangerous occupants of the forest.

The trip was a true success. The students saw heretofore untold and hidden beauty, marvellous creatures and plants. They had parties with the fairies, and deep discussions with the centaurs. In short, everything succeeded so well that the youngest of the two Slytherins began to think that Whitebeard was indeed a charming and powerful wizard who could teach him much, and that his beard was not that white or long after all. 

As soon as they returned to the castle, the young wizard retired with Whitebeard to his tower and neither were seen for the rest of the weekend. About a month later, the school year had finished and the young Slytherin had graduated with full honours, staying at Hogwarts over the summer before he was to start his Potions apprenticeship. Whitebeard told his young lover he was obliged to visit the Ministry and other strongholds in the country as he aided the Order of the Phoenix in their fight against Voldemort. He would be gone for a week at the very least, and he wished his young lover success in the experiments he had set up in the dungeons.

"Here," said he, "are the keys of my tower, where I have stored many valuable artefacts you may wish to inspect; these are for the Sorting Hat's cupboard, should you become lonely and wish for some conversation; these are for the strongbox in which Gryffindor's sword rests, should you wish to see it; this is for my manuscript on the twelve uses of dragon's blood; and this is the master-key to all of Hogwarts. But this little one here, it is the key to the closet at the end of the corridor in the dungeon, opposite your workrooms. Use them all, be free with all my belongings and possession, except that little closet, which I forbid you, and forbid it in such a manner that, if you happen to open it, you may expect my just anger and resentment."

His lover promised to observe, very exactly, whatever he had ordered. The headmaster, after having embraced and kissed the young Slytherin, took some floo powder and proceeded on his mission.

The young Slytherin soon retired to his workrooms in the dungeons, and did many Potions experiments. His Slytherin friends came to visit, and were all most envious of the headmaster's favour. He showed them the phoenix, the Sorting Hat, and Gryffindor's sword (at which they all had a good laugh). When they left, and all his potions were bubbling and no longer needed his attention, and he had nothing to do, his eyes were drawn time and again to the little closet opposite his workrooms. 

That night, as he slept in the headmaster's large bed to the sound of the phoenix' snoring, he dreamt of the little door. His curiosity vexed him so much that he could no longer bear it, and got out of bed, pulling on one of his lover's warm and colourful robes. He hurried down the many staircases, into the dark dungeons, and with such excessive haste that he nearly slipped in a patch of green moss, left there by the house-elves for 'ambience', nearly breaking his neck.

Coming to the mysterious door, he made a stop for some time, thinking upon his lover's orders, and considering what unhappiness might attend him if he was disobedient. But the temptation was so strong he could not overcome it. Then he took the little key and, trembling, opened the closet. 

At first he could not see anything plainly, because there were no windows and they were deep below the castle. To remedy this, he took out his wand and cast 'iLumos/i'. That is when he saw that the floor was covered with a greenish slime, on which lay the bodies of several young Slytherins, ranged against the walls. (These were all the young wizards whom Whitebeard had seduced and murdered, one after another.) He thought he should have died for fear, and the key, which he pulled out of the lock, fell out of his hand.

After having somewhat recovered from his surprise, he took up the key, locked the door, and went upstairs to the headmaster's chambers to recover himself; but he could not, he was so much frightened. Having observed that the key of the door was stained with that green colour, he tried two or three times to wipe it off, but the green would not come out; in vain did he scour it with cleaning potions and spells; the green still remained, for the key and the green residue of the Killing Curse were magical. He could never make it quite clean; when the green was gone from one side, it came again on the other.

Whitebeard returned from his journey the next morning, and said he had missed his young lover so much that he had entrusted the Order work with one of his Auror friends. His lover did all he could to convince him he was extremely glad of his speedy return, and they spent the rest of the day in bed.

The next morning, after breakfast, Whitebeard asked his lover for the keys, which he gave him, but with such a trembling hand that the headmaster easily guessed what had happened.

"Why," said he, "is not the key of my closet among the rest?"

"I must certainly have left it upon your desk in the office; shall we not stay in bed and worry about such things tomorrow?"

"Fail not to bring it to me presently," said Whitebeard.

After several goings backward and forward the young Slytherin was forced to bring him the key. 

Whitebeard, having very attentively considered it, said to his lover, "How comes this green upon the key?"

"I do not know," cried the young Slytherin, paler than death, his sallow complexion turning even whiter.

"You do not know!" replied Whitebeard. "I very well know. You were resolved to go into the closet, were you not? Mighty well, young man; you shall go in, and take your place among the Slytherins you saw there."

Upon this the young Slytherin threw himself at his lover's feet, and begged his pardon with all the signs of true repentance, vowing that he would never more be disobedient. He would have melted a rock, so beautiful and sorrowful was he; but Whitebeard had a heart harder than any rock!

"You must die, boy," said he, "and that presently."

"Since I must die," answered he (looking upon him with his dark eyes all bathed in tears), "give me some little time to make my peace."

"I give you," replied Whitebeard, "half a quarter of an hour, but not one moment more."

When the young Slytherin was alone, he called out to his blood-brother, and said to him: "Brother Lucius (for that was his name), "go up, I beg you, upon the top of the Astronomy tower, and look if our Slytherin friends are not coming over; they promised me that they would come today, and if you see them, give them a sign to make haste."

His brother Lucius went up upon the top of the Astronomy tower, and the poor affected young man cried out from time to time: "Lucius, brother Lucius, do you see anyone coming?"

And brother Lucius said: "I see nothing but the sun, which makes a dust, the blue of the lake, and the grass, which looks green."

In the meanwhile Whitebeard, holding his long wand in his hand, cried out as loud as he could bawl to his lover: "Come down instantly, or I shall come up to you."

"One moment longer, if you please," said his lover, and then he cried out very softly, "Lucius, brother Lucius, do you see anyone coming?"

And brother Lucius said: "I see nothing but the sun, which makes a dust, the blue of the lake, and the grass, which looks green."

"Come down quickly," cried Whitebeard, "or I will come up to you."

"I am coming," answered his lover; and then he cried, "Lucius, brother Lucius, do you see anyone coming?"

"I see," replied brother Lucius, "ripples in the lake and a great dust, which comes on this side here."

"Are they our Slytherin friends?"

"Alas no, my dear brother, it is but the Giant Squid swimming in the water, and the half-giant walking his blast-ended skrewts."

"Will you not come down?" cried Whitebeard.

"One moment longer," said his lover, and then he cried out: "Lucius, brother Lucius, dost thou see nobody coming?"

"I see," said he, "five wizards on broomstick, but they are yet a great way off."

"Salazar be praised," replied the poor young man joyfully; "they are my friends; I will make them a sign, as well as I can, for them to make haste."

Then Whitebeard bawled out so loud that he made the entire castle tremble. His distressed young lover came down, and threw himself at his feet, all in tears, with his black hair about his face.

"This signifies nothing," says Whitebeard; "you must die." Then, taking hold of his lover's hair with one hand, and lifting up his wand with the other, he prepared to cast the Killing Curse. The poor lad, turning about to him, and looking at him with dying eyes, desired him to afford him one little moment to recollect himself.

"No, no," said he, "recommend thyself to the Source of all Magic," and was just ready to speak the spell…

At this very instant there was such a loud knocking on the doors of the Great Hall that Whitebeard made a sudden stop. The doors were opened, and presently entered five wizards, four dressed in black robes with white masks, following a regal looking man with dark hair and fiery red eyes. They drew their wands and ran directly to Whitebeard. 

Whitebeard knew four of them to be former Slytherins and friends of his lover – Death Eaters, who had begged their Dark Lord to join them on this visit so he might persuade Severus away from Whitebeard. No longer as strong as he used to be when he defeated Grindelwald, Whitebeard ran away immediately to save himself; but the five wizards pursued so close that they overtook him before he could reach the gargoyle at the bottom of the stairs to his quarters, where they cast the Killing Curse and left him dead. However, the poor Slytherin was almost as dead as his lover, overcome by fear and shock, and had not strength to rise and welcome his friends.

Whitebeard had been the leader of the resistance against the Dark Lord, and when his lover revealed all his secrets to Voldemort, he was given the phoenix, the manuscript and many of the artefacts. Lucius married a beautiful pureblood witch named Narcissa, whose family had been discredited by Whitebeard and his Gryffindors. So taken with the young Slytherin's striking dark looks, skill at Potions, and intelligence was the Dark Lord, that he took him for his consort, and made him forget the ill time he had passed with Whitebeard.

_the end_


End file.
